Can You Say, “Diisobutylphenoxyethoxyethyl dimethyl benzylammonium chloride” Ten Times Fast?

Well, just don’t touch it without gloves, and you shouldn’t let your kids play with it either I guess. Just a little something I saw while getting a check-up last week. I probably could have used something like that when I got my truly evil spider bite a few years back that led to chunks of flesh being surgically removed from my personage and a lengthy hospital stay – Shylock eat your heart out! Hold on, don’t take that literally!

Anyway, let me change gears here abruptly. Okay – it’s been so crazy-amazingly beautiful here in IV lately that we’re getting tans without even trying. Trust me, this kind of radness doesn’t happen until September or October around here…so I’ve been taking pix of idyllic sunny beach weather…but then all these new ugly buildings keep getting in the way.

(The new building on the corner of Pardall, sharing Giovanni’s parking lot)

 

(Near St. Mark’s church by Abrego and Sueno…)

There are four or five of these big ‘luxury’ apartment buildings currently being constructed all around IV, and, man they are NOT pretty! I know, they’ll look different when they’re done, but I’m not too hopeful about the design team’s talents…

(Witness the rust “patina” I’ve been yammering about. I don’t know if you can quite see how ugly this building has now become. It truly can’t get any worse…actually, if it does, you know you can trust me to tell you ALL about it.) On that note, I still need to get pix of the rest of the building at “The Loop”. Corrugated metal walls and more dark rust-orange tones! Shabby-chic, I guess? From the minds of horrible people with no taste, talent or decency, but with, unfortunately, a seemingly endless budget.

This is the new alley/walkway next to the mailboxes. Yeah, as if I’d want to walk down this way at night! We actually had to demand that someone install flood lights…”They” are still dragging their feet about security cameras.

Okay, okay – enough already, I know. On a MUCH happier note, I did happen to stumble across a REAL BAND – playing REAL MUSIC just down the street from the Co-Op! Trust me, this simply does NOT happen in IV anymore. It’s truly sad. Cops shut ’em down all the time – even during the day! AND these guys sounded good too! I was so happy, I almost forgot about the horrible charcoal grey bloc housing that is springing up everywhere.

I then got the coolest head of lettuce I’ve ever seen at the Co-Op…I know that sounds silly, but it was a GIANT super-fresh head of Romain that had Boston lettuce coloring. Vegetable RADNESS!

With this treasure in hand, we rounded the corner to our place and passed by a beautiful lemon tree in someone’s front yard. I was just getting ready to knock on the door to ask if we could have a couple of lemons, when this totally cute girl poked her head out of the balcony door. “Oh, sure – here I’ll get some for you!” She handed us a few lemons with a smile, and said that we were welcome to come back anytime to pick more when they ripened. I said, “Thanks Life!” and she laughed.I was definitely going to make lemonade!

Well, guess what? We got home and soon discovered that these gorgeously ripe lemons were indeed – YES! – Meyer lemons! OMG – what a score…super-sweet, super juicy…and super expensive if you try to buy them at the market, (at least $1.00 to $3.00 each that I’ve seen – seriously!)

We got home rather elated with our finds, and discovered that not only had the Hippy’s palm plant suddenly bloomed for the first time ever, but the garlic and tomatoes we haphazardly planted a few weeks ago had started sprouting too!

We need to figure out the best way to grow them still, but we were just so stoked that they even came up at all!

 

Well with all that said and done, it’s time for dinner I think – AND, alas, the fog has rolled in. If it sits around all night though, it has a tendency to be gone with the sunrise. Here’s to hoping that’s the case!

(Someday, I hope bands will play here again…)

 

 

 

 

Oh, How Time Flies When You Wish Things Were How They Used To Be

Yeah well…suffice it to say, Human Nature somehow usually finds a way to f*** up Mother Earth, this latest concrete and steel monstrosity being no exception! Yes, we here in Isla Vista have come upon the Official One Year Anniversary of the Great Groundbreaking at the Top of The Loop.

(Day One)

(Week One)

Do you remember that Simpsons episode where Mr. Burns tries to make the people of Springfield pay for sunlight by erecting a huge shield over the town so that everything falls under its shadow? Yeah well, now we got wall – giant, sunblocking wall…

Complete with lots of menacing looking bars…

These balconies look like mini/halfway prison cells.

Apparently, they really are going to leave the main color of the building just like that: A dull, menacing charcoal gray. At least it won’t look any worse once it gets all dirty and dusty.

Anyway, somehow, these scrappy little palm trees have survived all the construction trauma throughout the past year pretty darn well.

from November 2011…

from July 2012

I miss all the trees that used to be here.

From July 2011

Lots of bougainvillea is gone too, and so are pretty much all of the loquat trees…

Bye-bye Bougainvillea…

Used to be loquats where these big, fake-looking Insta-Palms were installed…

Yes, by the way, the above pic is of Pardall intersection next to IV Market and Dave’s-I-mean-K&B Market, taken back in November 2011. Here it is today…

Offering maid service, parking and super close-up views of perfectly coiffed palms…

And did I mention they completely demolished the studios that were across the street from SOS Liquor? That was the first place I ever played (Jeff Whalen’s) electric guitar with one of the most awesome drummers of all time, Steve Sherlock (right up there with another most awesome drummer of all time, Steve Coulter.) If I’m not mistaken, those studios were also where Ugly Kid Joe used to practice.

Yup, that loquat tree is gone too.

Meanwhile, back at the Loop, this is the front of the Big Building…

I don’t know if you can tell from this photo, but there is now a huge metal facade on that center section. Just the kind of material that stands up well to rust, saltwater damage and an often foggy  coastal environment in general.

If it only had a heart…

Yes, even I can admit that from this view, in the evening light and no glare from the sun, it almost is tolerable, seeing as how it sort of melds in with the background of the sky and kind of (not quite) disappears. But don’t worry! I was told that they are going to finish it with – seriously! – a rust colored “patina”, so at least it will look as if it’s just rusting evenly…or some such “logic”. Wow. Can’t wait to get an eye(sore)ful of that!

 

Modern(stros)ity…

But wait – there’s more! Over across from Freebird’s, the long-since closed Isla Vista Surf Company has been deleted, and more scaffolding has been erected amid a proliferation of Insta-palms.

one of only two places to get surf wax in IV

 

IV is just one big construction zone…

Just guess what’s gonna be there when it’s all done! A big fat juicy CHASE BANK!!! I don’t even know where to begin with that one. Let me just say that the account I briefly had with Chase a couple of years ago cost me much more money than I ever deposited, much like the account I had with Wells Fuck-o long ago. No wonder they can afford to build/take over so many locations and install full-sized, full-service bank branches. Customers pay for it all!  http://www.bankinvestmentconsultant.com/news/JPMorgan-Chase-banks-expansion-2673549-1.html Honestly, does Isla Vista really need another big bank?

this mural next to Javan’s depicts “The Burning”

BTW, this is what has become of the B of A-Graduate-Anaconda-Pool/TV Sports Bar…

“Have you partied way too much?”

“Relax! AA is here to help you!”

At least the narrow hallways and linoleum don’t smell like stale beer, barf and cigarette smoke.

How many parents need to accompany their kids to college? Apparently a lot. Sometime after orientation, parents then return to IV to attend AA and Alanon meetings with their kids. I don’t know about you, but I am confused by this. Too much acid? Nah…

 

Anyway, all this ranting and raving has made me hungry. Nothing fancy, but I sure am craving something sort of BLT-ish…gonna rustle up some fixin’s while the bacon is a-bakin’. Indeed, who doesn’t love bacon?

Bacon is guiltless when surrounded by healthy ingredients!

So, on that note, th-th-that’s all for now folks.

 

 

Busblog, Bailing, Bowling and Bye Bye: A Day (or Two) in Hell-A.

I believe that people should go Bowling on Acid at least once or twice in their lives.

Hold on – let me back up a few steps. Here’s how it all started.

TTFN big building!

I left IV the other day, headed down to Hell-A to go take care of some business and, as I mentioned, to experience some of the streets of the famed City of Angels on a bus. Firstly, I took the Pacific Surfliner down the coast to get there.

Sunny Wednesday Afternoon

After a lovely train ride and a jaunt through one of my favorite stations in the nation…

Where're Ya Headed?

…I finally ended up at my friend’s place.

Actually, Not Here - Friend's Place is Down the Street.

Well, anyway, the last time I took a bus in LA was around the time there was still a raging debate going on in the world about what was better: Betamax or VHS?

The Betamax Bandit

I was kinda trippin’ on it (the bus ride, not the Boosh’s Betamax Bandit), but not really. Fortunately, the Culver City Bus stop was right at the corner, and I was only headed up Washington – a straight shot to the DMV.

Well, I would have posted a picture of the DMV just about now, but I never made it there! Everything was going fine, and I had my nose buried deep in my reading, when all of a sudden the bus pulled over at the Washington-Lincoln stop, and the driver made everyone get off.

An ambulance and cops pulled up and the driver was asking us all if we were witnesses! To what!? And whassup with all the pushing and pulling?! I hadn’t heard anyone freaking out, or anything crashing out on the street…seriously, I hadn’t been THAT engrossed in the damn LA Times or the LA Weekly, no offense!

Green Bus Meets Red Emergency Vehicles

Apparently, some chick accused some dude of “falling on” her, causing her some kind of injury – therefore she freaked out and demanded that the bus driver stop, pull over and call 911. Seriously?

Mostly, Everyone Was Pissed-Off and Confused

And so, my Grand Busblog Adventure was cruelly cut short. No – I didn’t have any desire or reason to make a statement to the po-leece. Yes, most of the people on the bus were pretty smelly. Mostly, I was nonplussed. Although I was kind of diggin’ the Skateboard Guy who was trying to remain anonymous while I snapped some pix, but he nevertheless had a totally cool and unique skateboard.

Hmmph. Fortunately, I was just a few feet away from some other business I had to attend to, so I just went and did that instead. Indeed, my tete a tete with the  DMV will have to wait for another day. (Sorry – I still don’t know how to add accent marks properly.)

Anyway…nobody got arrested, and after some time, the Culver City Bus went on its way. So, I crossed the street, (no small feat in the Concrete Jungle of Hell-A!) and ended up in the parking lot of the local shopping mall. You know – the usual, depending on where you live: Costo, Albertson’s, Verizon, Starfluck’s, In-n-Out and…

COPS?! Whuuut?!

As I passed by the burger joint, having just given some young homeless dude and his dog my (supposedly Lite n’ Healthy – NOT!) leftover Chinese takeout, the cops fully busted an “unruly” driver – right outside In-n-Out!

Derf.

Meanwhile across the way, it was mega-shopping as usual at the Giant Red “C” in the sky: COSTCO! I don’t think anyone even saw what was going on at the In-n-Out Showdown…

Where's the Free Samples!

Wow. So, finished with at least some of the business of the day, I simply decided to walk back home. It was a beautiful hot day, and I certainly wasn’t gonna get on the bus again!

Holding Out in the Hot Sun

As I got nearer to my friend’s house, I realized I was starving so visited my favorite local taqueria that I haven’t been to since well, I used to have money.

Have you Guys Ever Put Quarters into These Cards?

I got home, and was gonna dive right in to my super cheesy combo…

How Many Calories in This Thing!?

But feeling hot, dusty and tired out, I remembered there was something much better to dive into.

Ahh, MUCH Better!

Definitely a good call. I took a little nap, had a little swim, got a little sun…

Splish-Splash!

Then, the next thing I know, a large shadow fell over me. A towering, menacing figure standing at least 6’4″ informed me in no uncertain terms that it was time to go bowling, and could I please get dressed. Now.

I was all "Whuuuutt?"

I was hustled back to headquarters, where battle gear was already laid out.

Hell NO!

I was all freaked out – “We’re wearing THAT to go bowling!?!?” “Nah,” my friend laughed. “That’s for our hike tomorrow!” (*gulp* – what is this guy – Mosad!?)

Then the next thing I knew, we were here…

Rockin' Bowl, LA Style

And this guy was all “HIIIII-EEEEEEE!!!!!!!”

Now We Go BOWLING!!!!!!

Recovering somewhat from my shock, I saw this adorable little girl coming my way, and as she got nearer, she whispered in my ear, “Yeah – they got me too! But it’s okay – they seem nice, and they have lots of free pizza! Wanna play with me?”

She Said the Pizza was Yummy

So, pizza, beer and bowling it was. And it WAS fun! Everyone was rockin’ it too!

STRIKE!!!

Big D was jammin’ on the lanes!

Welcome to the Hotel California!

I was gonna order a White Russian, but I was already sitting next to two – heh!

Before Pizza and Beers...

After Pizza and Beers...

Before pizza and beers…

Where's the Good Stuff?

annnd, After!

Good, clean fun was had by all, and then we had to go home…

Go Speed Racers!

And then early the next day, those freaks really DID go hiking – with those crazy “Iron Man” vests!!!

These Guys are Crazy!

Trust me – my friend Cherie and I had a MUCH better idea for a workout that day!

We hiked down to the pool for a real LA-style workout. : )

Then alas, too soon, it was time to head back to Isla Vista.

Time to Hit the Road

Well, a short time later, we were back in IV, where Cherie got to see her awesome son Bub, a recent UCSB grad!

Family Reunion Isla Vista Style!

Yup, Definitely Back in IV

*Sigh* well, Iggy was happy to see me anyway, and the next day we went for a walk to the Co-Op to get some greeeeeeennnnnnz for a hungry lizard.

I'm Hungry!

We were having a jolly time in some splendid IV weather, when, lo and behold, just outside the Co-Op, we saw these two dudes…one was inexplicably dressed in. An. Iguana. Suit. No. Kidding! Immediately, their friend suggested the two of us pose with our “iguanas” which tickled me to no end!

Iggy Meets Iguana Boy!

Iggy, like the rest of us, thought it was the funniest thing in the world! Especially since she got some delicious Italian Kale out of the deal.

That Dude Was Too Funny!

And this is why we love Sonny I. LaVista.

 

As Promised…Happier Things. (The Construction Guys are Still Going At It, However.)

So, I did have a brief respite from the restless gnashings of despair, uncertainty and cruel loutishness. (These days, just about anything goes, including “new” words…who’s in agreeance with me here – haha…)

Any-hoo, my happiness arrived this past Saturday in the form of one Klara Nemravova, Czech Goddess Extraordinaire, guiding the Amazing Kid-Friendly Vanagon most kindly supplied by our mutual friends known as Os’n’Kim. We made a brief tour of all things Isla Vista, (namely Woodstock’s and the beach,) and took in a gorgeous sunset, then headed off to sleep in a Super Cozy King Sized Waterbed.

In the morning, we did bagels and coffee, then hit the road, leaving behind The Hippie who promised to look after things while me n’ Klara tore up the Streets of San Francisco.

Ano, Isla Vista is mine! Where is this San Francisco you speak of? Let us ride in the Wild Vanagon and rip the US 101 N.Bound a new, um, lane! Yeah!

(Firstly we needed to get some gas…)

And then, before either of us knew it, we were in The City!

Whereupon, within a very short amount of time, we managed to find Macker (my most Favorite Irishman of all time),

the Inimitable Barney Greinke…

AND – as a super-added bonus, One Mark Johnson!

As an aside, let me explain about the cat and the motorcycle…

This is Lily. She is deaf, but she also happens to Rock the Known Universe with Her Radness. She LOVES the brushy-brush, and it’s so cool to stoke her with a thorough fur-combing…she starts purring VERY loudly. So even if she can’t hear herself, I’m sure she can at least feel some Good Vibrations!

And then, yes, a motorcycle is involved.

Klara was all, “Cool! I wanna ride this crazy-ass monkey chopper!” And so, we were all, “Totally! Stuff your lovely nobbin into a Street-Safe Helmet, and get on witcho bad-ass self! Macker, take this girl for a spin!”

Ohhhhhh yeah! That’s what I’m talkin’ bout! How cool is Lombard Street on the back of a totally rad kick-ass bike!? Totally cool!

And then we got to hang out for a bit, over ice cream snacks and Shirley Temple-type beverages.

I.Just.Can’t.Seem.To.Get.Enough.of…YOU! (Yes, courtesy of Rasputin Records, Klara was VERY stoked to get a double CD of Depeche Mode from back in the day for only, like $6.00!!!)

Need I tell you how AWESOME it was to hear this lovely girl singing along to Our Favorite Hitz of the 80’s and 90’s as she was expertly guiding us back down south to Isla Vista? Well, it got even better, because just north of IV, in Avila Beach, we just HAD to pull over and witness one of the most bee-yuuu-tee-full sunsets right on the beach. Yup – we got some Mother Nature Radness all up n’ down the coast. And then, before I could even really process the whole thing, she was gone!

Good thing I managed to get a few pix…

 

Marsupials are Trippy. And WTF with Lagomorphs!? Don’t Even Talk to Me About the Platypus Thing. Well, Hold On…

Perhaps I should simply watch a whole bunch of Nicki Minaj videos, and get up to speed on what, apparently, is some Super Hot Stuff. I had no idea. As I’m trying to play catch-up in my stumbly, awkward dorkish-ness, I am quite simply feeling like Nicki Minaj IS The New Platypus. Yes – you heard it here first.

What exactly does that mean? I don’t quite know. It’s early, and I just woke up after a long, uncomfortable night of icky-sticky nightmares, courtesy of Extreme Anxiety and Worries About the Future.

Quick aside: Benadryl, a very common brand-name antihistamine, lists as its active ingredient Diphenhydramine HCI 25mg. I am quite prone to all sorts of allergies and so I’m a big fan of little tiny pills that magically make my sneezes, snot and red, itchy eyes all better. But damn – that Benadryl always knocks me out! In less than 20 minutes, my allergy is laid to rest, but so am I! Sneezy is gone, but Dopey moves in, with Sleepy on the hat trick! Guaranteed shut-eye, with a side dish of handily sawn logs!

Well, a few days ago, The Hippie purchased a box of Nighttime Sleep Aid pills…frankly, we’ve been doing our fair share of tossing and turning  lately, which does not make for a sound night’s sleep. I didn’t really take much notice of this OTC product until bedtime of course, when I finally checked out this new addition to our medicine cabinet. Guess what is listed as the active ingredient of Nighttime Sleep Aid!? Diphenhydramine HCI 25mg – it’s freakin’ Benadryl!! WTF!!! Damn, we had just purchased a bottle of SIX HUNDRED Costco Allergy Pills a few days prior, (about $9.00 – and yes – the product is generic Benadryl.). This box of 24 mini-caplets cost us about $4.00 – and not once did we even think to read the label! So now, we have 624 generic Benadryl caplets.

Eh – added insult to ignorance, the damn “Nighttime Sleep Aid” pills are light blue as opposed to bright pink. I suppose FD&C blue no. 1 and no.2 are a bit more expensive than D&C red #27 red aluminum lake…however, both products proudly list titanium dioxide as an ingredient. Hmmm. Don’t even get me started on titanium dioxide! I feel SO stupid!

And now it’s morning, and The Construction Guys are hot and heavy at it next-door…what’s even worse is that the Daily Nexus has turned into a worthless rag. I never thought I’d find myself uttering such horrible things. I am putting an end to all this misery. Instead, I will now post about much happier things, complete with a handful of pretty decent pix. I have a really weird, sneaking suspicion that I actually did leave my heart in SF…omg – I am SOOOO (fill-in-the-blank)!!!!

Dr. Heckle and Mr. Jive…Hellcome to 2012

Whew – what a year! It was sooo crazy and chaotic…oh wait – it’s still only January. Holy shit.

What Was Left of People's and Perfect Park After the Dust Settled

These are days, indeed. Definitely not the Good Ole’ days. I don’t know if they’re THE Days, or just worrisome, dusty and stressful days interspersed with beautiful, sunshiny wonder-full days…

Iggy's Favorite Tree

…but days they certainly are. (I’m lumping in the nights with all the days, btw. With my completely off-kilter sleep schedule, I’m no longer surprised by how it all seems to melt into one long, crazy passing of time.)

Still Trying to Capture the Amazing Beauty of These Sunsets

Anyway, after getting to know most of the wonderfully kind, helpful and caring staff over at Goleta Valley Medical Center this past couple of months, me n’ The Hippie are safely back at IV HQ, and sound…yes, LOTS of sound.

Unlike Us, These Guys Just Can't Get Enough!

As the monstrous new building continues to be erected just feet from our very eyes, ears, noses and throats, we’ve come to find out a little more about the new quasi-luxury studio apartments that will eventually exist right next door. Do you want to guess how much “They” will be charging for rent?

Oohhh - The High Life!

OK, I’ll tell you. $950.00 a month. Sounds like a deal for a nice new pad, especially in IV, right? Oh – I almost forgot to mention…it’s $950.00 PER PERSON. That means that if you happen to want to take part in that time honored Isla Vista Tradition of having a whole bunch of roommates stuffed into an impossibly tiny living space, just so that you can save money on the ridiculously high rent, ummm, you are now Officially Screwed. You want to share a studio (with NO separate bedrooms!) with one or two other friends? Yeah – that’ll be $950.00 EACH, pal. No shit. Wow. Really. And They said it with a smile! Hey, after all, you get free wi-fi with that, and oh, probably a nice new granite counter top in the kitchen. Don’t trip over your roommate who’s probably in a sleeping bag by the new fridge, ha!

These Guys Were Apparently Trying It On for Size...

(Apparently the ground floor units will be a little cheaper – haha! Sorry, bad joke.)

No wonder The Hippie is pining for What Once Was. This Is a Mean World, (please check out Sweet Honey in the Rock’s song by the same name sometime. It is so, so amazing.) So many comforting sights are now disappeared.

Long Gone Sign

Used to be, you could mail a letter to The Hippie and address the envelope like this:

The Tall Skinny Hippie

Above the Leather Guild Shop

Isla Vista, CA 93117

and it would totally land in his mailbox! Now, no such dice   : (

This is what that same space looks like now, from upstairs…

What a View!

Won't Need to Buy Anymore Sunblock!

Ummm, Pink Floyd, anyone?

Now That's a Wall!

And yes, the flora & fauna continue to fall victim to the giant chomping Jaws of Progress.

This One's Gone Too

At least there still is the beach in all of its laid back splendor.

The Sultaness of Suntanning - I'm Gonna Join Her in a Second...

No Waves, But Tons of Total Radness

The Close of a Stunningly Cloudless Day When All of the Islands Came Out to Play

And there are still a few people who have their heads in the right places.

***note***

(A really cool photo of a certain beautiful green plant was apparently censored. Insert imagination here…)
In any case, Time does indeed march on, and Change is inevitable. And none of the kids these days seem to know or care about What Was here in beautiful downtown Isla Vista. It’s their town now, I suppose – although the Park Dudes still hang out in their usual spaces and places.

The trippy thing is just that, well, me n’ The Hippie are now pretty much the same age as all the Park Dudes, and yeah, we all know each other by name. The kids think we’re all weird. We think they’re just young, know-nothing whippersnappers. Wow – how the times have changed, indeed.

Old Friend, Good Times

It’s going to be an interesting year, to say the least – we’re only at the beginning of the buffet line, but we have been given very big plates, and the line seems to be moving quite fast. Hopefully at least some of the offerings will be hot and tasty, and others will be cool and refreshing. I’m very much looking forward to the Oyster Bar and, of course, the Dessert Section! I lost my appetite once already so far this year, but it seems I’ve gotten it back. I’ll remember to eat healthy and get lots of exercise, I promise.

I Might Cut Down a Bit on My Meat Intake, However

Well no matter what, following Iggy’s always excellent examples on how to live life right, I will hang on tight and ride this freaky wave in to safe and sunny shores.

Is This Photo Worthy of Posting to That "I Can Haz Cheezburger" Site? I May Have to Photoshop It or Something...

Oh yeah – and don’t forget to strike a pose when someone catches you on camera while you’re naked in the tub!

Oh! Caught by Surprise! *click!*

Coming soon: Black History Month, and my Birthday! Woohoo! Oh yeah – and Valentine’s Day – chuh! what-ehv!!!!

Embrace the Chaos, Especially Around the Holidays. Because it Otherwise Might Just Kick Your Ass. So, I Opt for the “Kiss My Ass” Solution Instead

Years and years ago, Tony Pierce wrote a poem (yes, one of many…duh!)

It was – as I say – one of many. They all pretty much rock my world and make me so glad and amazed and grateful that I have a Tony Pierce in my Universe. As I hope that any of you reading this would agree upon.

Anyway, I don’t think I ever quite got a chance to play him the music that I came up with what, in my mind, now accompanies this poem, and has become pretty much a standard in my Holiday Lineup of Music.

It’s written in standard 4/4 time, in the key of G…it plays with E minor, then goes up to C and D and comes back around to G…if you know what I mean.

Not to get too long-winded, but it’s simply been a little bit crazy, upsetting and confused for the last few daze here in IV.

However, The Tall Skinny Hippie is, I believe, doing much better, and we’re getting back on track.

So, without further ado, here are the lyrics Tony wrote down long ago. Yeah – when I can, I’ll post the You Tube video with full orchestra accompaniment!

“Merry Christmas”

I may not know everything, but I sure know I love you. The mistletoe is falling down – the holly hunts for things to do.

And here the reindeer buy galoshes, they can’t fly or run too fast…Love lies more than money and all that’s true is broken glass.

Merry Christmas, open up your presents.

Merry Christmas, close your past.

Merry Christmas, welcome to your New Year,

Merry Christmas, kiss my ass.

The last time white men came with presents, they wanted more than beads. They pulled the world away from us and left a garden full of weeds…

Merry Christmas, welcome to Las Vegas,

Merry Christmas – Check Your Head…

Merry Christmas, wonder what’s inside there?

Merry Christmas – is it dead?

The dishes are still dirty from the turkey that we ate. My heart – like you – it wants to fly, but cries when the train is late.

I don’t know much but what I do will define dumb and sorrow…The lights blink “Merry fuckin’ Christmas” – they’re coming down tomorrow!

Merry Christmas, Open up your presents.

Merry Christmas, close your past.

Merry Christmas, welcome to Your New Year.

Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass.

 

Oh, The Holidays…Surrounded By Loved Ones and Oh Yeah – The Weird Ones You Sometimes Simply Marvel At

Many, many years ago, I had the wonderfully rare and pretty much quite unexpected pleasure of being with one Mr. Tony Pierce on Thanksgiving Day. We were here in IV, and we were all on our own in a quiet town by the beach that everyone had deserted. Families in other places were too far away to get to…in my case, my family had already let me know I wasn’t welcome home.

Anyway, Tony n’ me woke up early Thanksgiving Day stoked to be here in IV together, and we did have a feast in the works!

However…

Suddenly, Tony was soon overcome by horrible, horrible pains. Curled up like a crushed up monkey, and so so hurting! Neither one of us knew what was happening!

At the time, I was working for a very nice and good doctor over at Goleta Valley Medical Center…one Dr. Robert Parker. I was pretty much doing all the secretarial stuff (front office, appointments, billing, plus insurance things), but at the same time, he was also very cool about letting me do my homework there when I needed to – many of my big long term papers got typed out on his electric typewriter in the front office while he was over at the hospital doing surgery.

Many carotid endarterectomies, for the record. He was a cardiac surgeon, and it was a trip! He was this really big, gruffy bald guy – huge hands and sort of grunty – looked like he should have been a football coach. But he had five daughters (no sons) that he absolutely adored, and always treated me with total respect. Indeed, all his patients loved him. Despite his big hairy hands, he did very delicate and very fine work. Kinda like Stevie Ray Vaughn – if you know what I mean.

So, anyway – Thanksgiving morning, Tony is literally writhing in pain. I’ve got to get him to the hospital, because honestly, I’m terrified he’s dying. So, I called Dr. Parker in a panic, and he said to go ahead and come on down to the hospital, and he’d meet us there and see what’s going on.

Turned out, Tony had kidney stones – who knew such tiny little things could cause so much pain!!!!! We spent most of the day in the hospital, and finally got home later that afternoon.

Dr. Parker totally helped us out – no charge at all – and made sure we were all okay, and sent us home with all the proper instructions and meds. Much later, we were finally much better and had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day Feast!

I write all this today, because I just got home from a rather similar situation, weirdly enough – The Tall Skinny Hippie is just fine now, but we did have to head down to Goleta Valley Medical Center briefly, and he was well taken care of and is just fine now…

Point being, I went outside early in the morning to get some air after all night in the Emergency Room, and I had to get some money for the cab ride home. As I came back into the building, I saw a plaque commemorating Dr. Parker whom they’ve named the building after. He passed away in 2006, and lived a very long and good life, having helped many, many people.

I am happy that The Hippie is better now, and I am happy that I got to know and work with a certain Dr. Robert Parker back in the day, and I am happy that a little bit of this big mean ole’ world knows what’s good and right.

Now, back to the rest of all the sheise that’s going on…

 

 

11th Hour Reprieve: Misgivings, Misunderstandings, Clarification, Smoking of the Peace Pipe (Metaphorically Speaking)

So, with great trepidation and heavy loads of stress cavorting upon our backs and shoulders, me n’ the Hippie went downstairs to talk to the rental company about the fun Holiday Moving Activities we had to look forward to this next few weeks. We had a terse pow-wow with the Honchos, armed with a huge list of all our worries, requests for boxes, moving van, and would we really have to move EVERYTHING before Christmas!?

Well, quite simply, a few minutes into it, the Honchos simply said that they had thought about it, and that the whole thing was pretty unfair and extreme when examined in the light of day. Therefore, they had decided to cancel the whole thing, at least until this place is legitimately vacated (according to terms of the lease – June 1, I think) in effect making it totally unnecessary for us to move out AT ALL at this time. Besides, we agreed that at least some very needed repairs had been made, however painful the process.

So, we are good to stay, as it were, and all is well!! WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!! And it seems everyone is on good terms again.

Furthermore, we had a pretty massive downpour all last night – giant rains spittooning just above our heads for hours…and guess what? NO LEAKS!

We still have a shite-load of EVERYTHING to clean off, unpack, vacuum and dust; however, more packing boxes and moving vans have been VERY happily checked off of our to-do list. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can now breathe, (even though I’ll still be inhaling dust and termite poop…) so, I’m almost willing to put up with the endless allergies and sinus infection stuff, because at least we don’t have to move EVERYTHING out. (Hopefully the mold stuff won’t persist – but, for now, that is another matter.) *SIGH*!!!!!!!!!

Well, I just thought y’all should know, seeing as how I’ve been ranting about this for the last few weeks. That’s it for now…I’m gonna go outside and joyously stomp in some large puddles in celebration of this fortunate turn of events. Then, sit right back down with this computer on my lap and get back to work.

Thanks for listening!

Conspiracy Theories, and That Whole Impending Doom Thing

So this is what I think about this whole landlord/renovation/constant construction insanity that’s been happening over this past few months. First, this apartment building is old and falling apart in general – not just our place, although this place is a real wreck. Witness the entire roof replacement, etc. Second, The Hippie has been wrangling with the rental company for many months about getting repairs done, but “they” always take a really long time to get around to it. Then, when they actually do, no one can ever get the timing right, so the repairs just never get done.

Contentious dealings to say the least. So, I think that in exasperation and a touch of a desire for vengeance, “they” figured out a way to go ahead and schedule “inevitable” repairs all of a sudden. Each time, we’ve only got a few days notice to do major pack and move work, somehow on all major holidays…perhaps it got inspired by the huge project breaking ground next door day after 4th of July weekend.

Suddenly, the building got tented during Labor Day weekend – we only had a few days notice to pack our stuff and move out and find a hotel. Then, we got the roof ripped out day after Thanksgiving – to our endless misery…and now, we have to COMPLETELY move out before Christmas so they can suddenly demo & renovate the ENTIRE interior. (Again – just our apartment.) I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that Christmas is, um, coming up soon? How many boxes and movers does it take to pack up an entire apartment with 20 years-full of stuff? We’ll find out soon. In any case, all of these big jobs seem out of order, sort of helter-skelter, randomly set up. I dunno. I mean, after perhaps eight YEARS of things not getting done, why not just wait until the damn lease is up and just have us move out once and for all, to everyone’s probably endless relief and happiness?

So, I feel that something is amiss – something went down wrong, and things aren’t being handled right. Neither of us is going ANYWHERE for Christmas OR New Years, except for in a moving truck and hopefully to a decent apartment. We’ll find out more tomorrow, when we get the keys and check out the other (can’t really say new) apartment. I can’t help but feel “they” are sort of cackling, thinking, “Hah! You wanted repairs? I’ll give you repairs! Guess how YOU’RE gonna get to celebrate every holiday from now on!”

Stress compounded by dust compounded by poisoned termite poop compounded by endless packing-unpacking-covering-uncovering-dusting-vacuuming-dusting again-moving out-moving back in-everything I own is half-packed and jumbled around the apartment…at this point, the only thing I can find with any certainty is my toothbrush, although I lost that at one point too. I can’t even shake my fists and cry, “When will it end!?” because it hasn’t even really started yet. There’s a giant, giant fan nearby, and a whole lotta stinky stuff is gonna hit it soon.

More exciting news tomorrow, when we get the keys and lay eyes on our relocation destination.